Old School Christmas

James Brown immortalized an urban Christmas by singing about Santa going straight to the ghetto. The song has been covered a few times since it was first released, but nobody's cover version has been so radically different as Snoop Dogg's version. It's so different, I doubted it could even be a cover version, but people tell me it is. I still say it's an original song that just happens to have the same name as the James Brown classic. Well, you be the judge and feel free to sound off in the comments section.

Snoop Dogg-Santa Claus is Going Straight To The Ghetto

Next up is a real rarity, a true treasure in my collection because, as far as I've been able to uncover, it appeared only on one CD collection, and a regional collection at that. It is from a radio station in Portland, OR, and they released this on their box set Z100 Morning Zoo Yard Sale: 15 Years of Crap!. I also understand there were individual Christmas tapes/CDs released as well, and this song is more than likely on one of those. The CD is long out of print, but used copies of it surface on the Internet from time to time if you're interested. 'Til then...enjoy this sample of the wonderful goodness....

Coolio-Sleigh Ride Drive By

The next track comes from another rarity: WINTER WARNERLAND, a promotional CD sent to radio stations back in 1988 and it featured songs by various Warner Records acts and Christmas greetings and other fun bits. The vinyl record version was split over two discs, one red and one green. The CD, of course, is festive silver, just like the bells.

Cold Chillin' Juice Crew-Cold Chillin' Christmas

The final selection I bring you today showed up on a Kevin and Bean Christmas CD. Kevin and Bean are DJs from Los Angeles, on KROQ, and this song came up on their release Swallow My Eggnog. This is one song that I throw at those hardened hearts we talked about a couple blog posts back and only the most hardened of the hard resist this track. I've had such great responses from both young and old with this song...it's often a real crowd pleaser. I hope you enjoy it as well.

Chillaz-Clint Frostwood

Don't Hassel the Hoff!

Another amazing Christmas find that is right up there with the Max Headroom Christmas (posted on the first posting ever on this blog) is the Kitt Knight Rider Christmas record. It was recorded in 1983 and released on MCA Records. It was, IMHO, the finest display of KITT's abilities, even if he is a bit jaded towards the festive season near the end of the song. But he does save Christmas, and that's what counts!

KITT The Amazing Car of Tomorrow-A Knight Rider Christmas

The second offering for today is another rather rare song (but ample copies seem to be online this year if you want to pick one up yourself. I guarantee you more songs will appear on this blog in the future!) from the Dallas Cowboys NFL Christmas Record, released in 1986. It seems some of the most interesting Christmas music was released on vinyl record...what's up with that?

Dallas Cowboys-I Don't Want To Be Home Christmas

"I HATE CHRISTMAS MUSIC!"

Every year I run into people who insist they HATE Christmas music. You know the type...they shut themselves inside during the season and refuse to go to the store in case their sensitive ears hear a strain of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer." But is it fair to assume these people are Scrooges or are they just tired of the same old same old?

One reason this site exists is to share a wide variety of music. If you don't like something one day, hopefully there will be something you like another day. I feel that's the way it is with Christmas music as a whole. You hate Christmas music? Then maybe there will be a song that comes along that you might just really like!

Christmas music is one of my favorite forms of music because it unites all genres. Only in Christmas music can you find such a vast variety of music coming together with a unified message. It's remarkable, and makes it hard for me to wrap my head around the idea that somebody just hates Christmas music. I can get with you if you hate the repetitive music on the radio and in the malls. I mean, really...how many times can you listen to the Carpenter's "Merry Christmas Darling" before it gets old. Not to knock any of the standards, but still...

So today I chose not two but FOUR tracks I feel are just exceptional examples of not just good but GREAT Christmas music that I don't hear too often (if at all) on the radio and in the malls.

First up is a track by Elvis. Sure, he's not exactly an obscure artist, but his most common Christmas song is "Blue Christmas." It's a shame when this man has so much else to offer. This first track is not just a great Christmas song, but it's a great song. I'd put this up to next to some of Elvis's best songs in his cataloge. Certainly up there with my personal fav "In the Ghetto."

Elvis-On A Snowy Christmas Night

In fact, any of the songs featured here are songs I'd put up with the artist's normal songs you commonly hear all year long. They are that good, IMHO.

Here are a couple others:

Chris Isaak-Brightest Star
Cyndi Lauper-December Child

And perhaps one of the most beautiful of the lot is a song by Claudine Longet. It can be found on the marvelous Yulesville CD, which is chock full of wonderful songs you won't hear on the radio.

Claudine Longet-Snow

Maybe these songs won't convert the most hardened heart. Heck, there are a couple people I know who won't have anything to do with Christmas music regardless of what I throw at them. But I dare say if those hearts can't be softened by this music, it's certainly their loss. And maybe they are Scrooges after all.

Brenda Lee

Brenda Lee's "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree" is a timeless classic, always played at this time of year and is not too hard to find. And, while not completely lost to time, the single above only proves that Brenda was recording with the Christmas spirit from an early age (nine years old when she made that record!)

I'm Gonna Lasso Santa Claus is now one of my personal favorite holiday songs along with "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree." The touch that Brenda puts on these songs is priceless, and nobody seems to be able to do it better.

Brenda's desire to lasso Santa also hearkens back to the rampant selfishness of Gene Autry's wish to see his mother marry Santa so he can have Christmas all the time. Brenda wants to lasso Santa and keep all the toys! Screw you, kids, Brenda says. She doesn't care if those orphans don't get their teddy bears this Christmas! Gosh, I wonder what it is about all these early Christmas songs that were so anti-Christmas spirit! And they think the war on Christmas just started recently?

In a future blog posting, look for a new series to start that features lost and forgotten workers under Santa's care. It takes far, far more than 8 reindeer and Rudolph and a fat man in a red suit to get those presents out, folks. And wouldn't you know that Brenda told us about one of them.... Christy Christmas.

A few things of interest:
►Christy is a HE. Some really cruel parents there.
►He's made of wood, so I am not sure if this is a forerunner of Pinocchio or what.
►His duties include:
●Loading Santa's Sleigh
●Hitching up all the reindeer
●He picks out the presents for each little girl and boy! HE PICKS THEM ALL! KIDS, you are telling the wrong guy about what you want for Christmas! Santa DOESN'T CARE!
►He'll make your dreams come true. REALLY??? Because I can dream some pretty big things, Christy!

Later in the song we learn Christy Christmas will bring the toys to little girls and boys. Uh...OK...we tell Santa what we want for Christmas but it's Christy who picks out all the presents we each get and now you're telling me the fat guy doesn't leave the presents, but it's Christy Christmas? I am feeling gypped here somehow...

One thing he trumps Santa on, however, is he brings US treats to eat. Screw you, Santa, and your constant demanding for milk and cookies! Christy is feeding ME!!!!

And at the end of the song we learn they are making Christy into a toy, which makes me wonder if we were duped into listening to a toy commercial all this time, and we also learn that Christy is Santa's little boy. Gee, I sure hope Mrs. Claus didn't get splinters in delivering him!

Digging a bit deeper

One thing that's always exciting when searching for rare Christmas music is when you find a Christmas song that was never released on a Christmas record, or even in a Christmas compilation. These songs are a bit more special to me because if it were not for sites such as this, they may be forgotten entirely.

I am offering up two examples of this today. First up is from a 70's folk ensemble called Ellis and Lynch and the song is off their debut album, There's A Time, There's A Moment. The album also includes songs for other holidays as well. I feel "A Simple Christmas Song" is just that...a simple reminder of the reason for the season.

Next up is a rare track by Steve Richardson. While not a well known name among even a few, there is a chance you might know some of his songs as they have been recorded by well known acts such as the Gaither Vocal Band, Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir, and Vicki Yohe. He's had a number of cassette releases as well as a couple CD releases, all of which are long out of print and hard to find. (One of his cassette releases is Pianoel, a Christmas recording, so expect to hear more from Steve on this blog in the future.)

I had an opportunity to meet Steve in Des Moines, Iowa where he was performing and there were several songs he sang that I could never find on tape or CD. I was convinced there had to be an old LP record he released before his string of cassettes in the 90s and CDs in the recent years. However, even the most strident Google search yielded no results. Nothing even turned up on the all encompassing E-Bay.

One day I was in a record store about 400 miles away--in Minneapolis--and I flipped through the R's and I found it...a Steve Richardson record still sealed from sometime in the early to mid 80's. It was an incredible find, and for a mere five dollars, I was glad to pick it up.

It included the songs I was familiar with from his live performances, but it also included a song called "Empty Manger," a Christmas song that no doubt has never seen the light of day on CD and never on a Christmas compilation. It's one of those songs that this Christmas record collector strives to find but recordings like this are near impossible to find unless you happen upon them, because they are not even on official Christmas records.

So here, and possibly for the first time online, are two long and nearly forgotten Christmas songs from non-Christmas records.

Ellis & Lynch-A Simple Christmas Song

Steve Richardson-Empty Manger

In recent years Steve Richardson has succumbed to diabetes and kidney failure. He has lost his legs and is on dialysis. I understand that there will be a compilation of cover versions of his most beloved songs put together to honor him, but I don't have more information at this time.

Christmas with Olive (and Digby)

I think Digby and Olive are my two favorite characters on Pushing Dasies. I never heard of Kristin Chenoweth before that show (I am not into Broadway musicals, and I guess that's where she earned her fame) but discovering her has led me to discover some new music, and new Christmas music. She has never released a Christmas album, but hopefully one day that will be rectified. Until then, we do have her live performance on Prairie Home Companion from last year to tide us over.

Kristen Chenoweth-Come On, Ring Those Bells

Kristen performs that song in honor to a singer who inspired her as a child... Evie. While Evie didn't write "Come On, Ring Those Bells," she is the one who made that song her own and made it popular. It's not a commonly heard song, however, at least not in mainstream media, so I think it's fit to feature here on a blog that's set out to give exposure to more obscure Christmas songs. This may be one of the least obscure of the obscure...it's well known enough...but as much as I love Kristen's version, it's like most cover versions of classics...nothing beats the original.

Evie-Come On, Ring Those Bells

Gene Autry's Hallucinogenic Delusions

Gene Autry's "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" is just nearly about the only version of that song you will hear this time of year on most radio stations and in shopping centers. I don't know what's wrong with Gene's other Christmas songs that keep them off the radio and makes stations want to play that song over and over again, but I think I am figuring it out.

Today's first offer is "Where Did My Snowman Go?" This is a fun little song, until you listen to it and I mean listen to it.

First, Gene finds the pipe and top hat of the snow man lying in the snow. Naturally, the first thought that comes to his mind is that maybe the snowman went to "Snowland" to live with the Eskimos (because we all know that's what the land is called where they live...great geography lesson for the kids there, Gene!) and not that the snowman melted, because that would just be INSANITY to think that.

Another possibility is the Snowman went to work with Santa and Rudolph, so Gene writes a letter to Santa to see if he knows. Sorry, Gene, Santa's busy watching his Girls Gone Naughty videos that Mrs. Claus doesn't know about to be keeping an eye on your dumb, stupid snowman.

Well, to be fair, he does ask his mom and dad where the snowman could have gone and they have no freaking clue. They are seemingly befuddled as Gene where a snowman could go.

Then Gene says Jack Frost "talked" to him. This clearly is a mind that's not working right here, folks. And after Jack Frost "tells" Gene a winter storm is on the way, Jack apparently "tells" Gene to kill his father (more on that in a moment, though.)

However, Gene comes right out and admits he built a FIRE by the snowman to keep him warm and put a SUNLAMP outside to also warm him up (because, as we all know, that's a safe thing to be teaching children to carry wired electrical devices out into the wet snow!)

I mean, seriously, if Gene is not on some acid induced trip here with the talking Jack Frost and coming up with imaginary lands where Eskimos live and displaying a clear lack of ability to think logically, then he's stone cold drunk or something. And look at that face on the record cover there...does that look like the face of a sober man thinking clearly?

But his obsession is not ending...he's going to come up with a million pennies to get to the bottom of this. Yeah, Gene. Let me know how that works out for you.

Listen to the tale for yourself if you don't believe me.

Gene Autry-Where Did My Snowman Go?

Ok, back to the psychotic voices in Gene's head. I only surmise Jack Frost commanded Gene to kill his father, or else why would his mom be free to marry Santa Claus? Either Dad is out of the way or this is Gene's way of extending a long middle finger to his Dad and some deeper issues are at work here. Either way, his song "I Wish My Mom Would Marry Santa Claus" is just disturbing on so many levels. If Dad is around, Gene is quite satisfied with some kind of threesome thing with Mom, Dad, and Santa. If Dad needed to get out of the way and resisted, then maybe it was "Jack Frost" who told Gene to kill him to get him out of the way. And if Dad is still alive, and separated or divorced, it's still an issue because it's an extremely selfish thing for Gene to want Santa all to himself. Yeah, that's the spirit of Christmas, Gene. Ho freaking ho.

Gene Autry-I Wish My Mom Would Marry Santa Claus

I think Gene picked up the snowman's pipe and was smoking something himself, if you ask me.