Friday, November 30, 2007

All of the Other Reindeer

Eight reindeer. Eight ORIGINAL reindeer. They worked with Santa for God knows how long just fine until Rudolph came along with his freakish mutated genes in 1939.

Sure, they all cheered and Rudolph apparently went down in history, but what about the ORIGINAL EIGHT??? Where was their limelight of fame and glory?

It seemed the Sandpipers would be the ones to answer the call. While I don't know the exact year of the record, they did put out a record sometime in their career called "Santa's Other Reindeer." Finally, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen would finally get to tell their grand tales of how they came to be in favor of Santa and were privileged among all the other reindeer to pull Santa's sleigh every year.

Or were they??? It seems the Sandpipers started the song off strong by explaining what the reindeer's names meant.

Dasher-"I dash about all day/I exercised the whole year long/Because it makes me big and strong/Strong enough for pulling the sleigh!"
Dancer-"I love to dance and play...."

Uh...I am seeing a pattern here.

Then Comet, Prancer, Vixen, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen only get marginal exposure in the song. No explanation of their great exploits or why Santa loves them so much. No great lyrics like "My name is Comet/I hurl like your vomit/Hurling in the sky all day/pulling this friggin' sleigh!"

"My name is Prancer/I like to prance and strut/For the reindeer sluts/Who give it up/For us who pull the sleigh!"

"My name is Vixen/I like to be a shrew/You can go and screw/Yourself today/While I pull the sleigh!"

"My name is Donner/I don women's clothing...."

Ummmm...

Cupid? Doesn't like to be stupid? Blitzen? Likes to bomb kids from the sky while pulling the sleigh?

Ok, I am not much of a great lyricist, but suffice to say this song left me just a bit unsatisfied. I thought FINALLY, the other reindeer get to say why they are the BEST! But ummmm...I don't know what to say here...I think the red nose still has it.

The Sandpipers-Santa's Other Reindeer

And while we are on the topic of disgruntled reindeer holding a grudge against Rudolph, Vixen finally did get his voice heard after he realized how much the Sandpipers left to be desired...

Brian Beathard Orchestra-Dammit, I'm Vixen

Hmmmm....maybe Vixen does fit the definition of his name! "Regarded as quarrelsome, shrewish, or malicious." Of course, he'd have to be a woman to be a true Vixen, but that's a topic to be covered another day....if ever.

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